I struggled far more with this blog post than anything I would like to admit. I worried that if I wrote too long, people would think I spent too much time thinking about myself and that I had too much to say. And then I worried that if I was too brief, I would not be able to explain myself fully. That I would not be able to give enough detail or background to explain fully why I am a social entrepreneur, or more importantly, who I am as a person.
Then, I reflected on the fact that as much as I am tempted to worry about such things, I will never be able to make everyone happy. And that it would be exhausting and fruitless to try. So the simplest way to explain how I am a social entrepreneur is by explaining how comfortable I’ve become in my own skin, and how I have finally reached a place that allows me to not worry about what people think of me.
I realize that I appear harsh to some of the people I meet (and all of the people who’ve met me while I work on sorority recruitment) and at first that realization bothered me. I didn’t want to appear cruel or hard, I just thought of myself as a no-nonsense person. So when people said I was mean, I was honestly stunned. I hadn’t realized that I came across that way. And those same people were quick to defend their statements, and say that “they don’t think that anymore!” but I found little comfort in those qualifying statements.
The most relaxing and comforting transformation of my adult life was the day I realized I didn’t care.
I didn’t care what people thought on their first impressions, or how they judged me in a fleeting interaction. What I realized, was the people who truly cared about me, and the people I would work with for the duration of my time at Ohio State did not hold judgments on my unfiltered and sarcastic personality. I am lucky that the people I have in my life support me and love me for who I am, no matter how cliche that sounds.
I am a social entrepreneur because I believe in doing what I know to be right, regardless of the backlash and feedback it produces. I believe in saying what comes to your mind (phrase it nicely if you can, if not, it wasn’t meant to be) and being honest and open about your opinions, even if they aren’t always positive. Not being a Positive Polly 100% of the time is not the same thing as being a bad person.
One of the first times I remember being the “odd man out” was when I moved to Ohio from the racially, economically, and socially diverse suburbs of New York City. I went from one of the most diverse cities in the country to the literal whitest town I have ever seen (Seriously, everyone even had golden retrievers. EVERYTHING was white). The first day at lunch, the other girls asked me what youth group I was in, and I told them I didn’t go to church. Four pairs of bright blues eyes widened under curly blonde bangs as the girls realized they were face-to-face with their first real-life heathen.
I panicked, thinking that they would think I was a terrible person. That I didn’t go to church, or study the Bible, or play in the Jesus Olympics at our local church (bet you think I’m being facetious about the Olympics? No such luck).
Three out of the four of these girls did essentially wipe their hands of me. I was the godless creature that was to be avoided, and honestly I survived. But the fourth girl, a friend of mine throughout the rest of our middle school careers, looked beyond my blasphemous lifestyle.
She got to know me, learned that I didn’t spend my Sundays doing hard drugs or burning Bibles, but that I volunteered at our local animal shelter. On Wednesdays, instead of going to youth group, I went to book club, and tried to expand my middle-school mind. She looked past the oversimplified facade of life, and got to know me as a person. I cared about her opinion because I knew it wasn’t pre-emptively formed or based on shallow concepts. She was a true friend, and I valued her for that.
I’m a social entrepreneur because I stopped letting the opinions of those who have not demonstrated their worth sway my actions or thoughts. I’ve realized it’s impossible to make everyone happy, and trying to prove yourself to people who are determined to misunderstand you doesn’t allow for happiness.
As Dr. Seuss wrote, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
I will always say what I’m thinking, and I am confident in my actions because I know that they come from a place of established values. I will never be the peppiest person in a group, and I may have the occasional (read: common) sarcastic comment to throw in at a friend’s expense, but I will always look for the good in people, hold the idealistic point of view, and genuinely wait for the storybook-ending. And all of those incongruous elements are okay.
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